Never in my years of being a student have I received sex education. When it comes to being a girl in grade 4 who’s only sex ed was from mummy, you feel clueless. It’s not the kind of clueless where you’re uninformed of any aspect of puberty, and are wondering why blood is dripping from your inner thigh. However, sitting in a classroom the day after atrocity hit your underpants, wondering if your peers and friends went through the same. The ‘birds and the bees’ talk was meant to be given to little me when I was in grade 5. It reached the end of the year before I overheard my teacher expressing to an EA that she felt uncomfortable addressing the subject. This leaves many children and teens in danger. The lack of ‘puberty talk’ alienated every pupil from one another throughout middle school. Before long, young teens start talking about ‘it’. By ‘it’ I mean sex. I’m not one for censorship, and that goes for in the classroom. Only the year after grade 5, my grade 6 teacher said “You are not mature enough to learn about the reproductive system, try again next year”. Not only are statements like these preventing curious teens from being curious safely, but creates the sense of taboo around any form of puberty or sex education. When a teacher expresses uncomfort talking about basic reproduction and safety, the youth will feel uncomfortable hearing about it.
Abstinence is dangerous. Teaching teens not to masturbate or have sex is not preventing it from happening, but preventing sex from happening safely. Arguably, the same goes for weed and alcohol. When kids start to make sexual jokes, or even verbalize their knowledge of sex, sex education should be taught in their class. On that note, teaching sex safety, hormones, masturbation, STDs, and contraceptives should not result in a teen ashamed to ask questions or share. Let’s face it, sex and masturbation is normal. If it wasn’t, few would feel the need to physically act it out.
The world of online pornography is a dangerous but crucial place. The amount of online sites that promote abuse, sexism, pedophilia, racism, violence, ect. Is insane. However, there needs to be a sexual outlet for teens, especially those exploring what they like and don’t like so that the real deal (sex, sex, sex!) isn’t completely unenjoyable. Of course, the first time won’t be perfect (which also should be taught in schools), but knowing at least one thing that gets them going, also knowing to listen to their partner could change the game for the beginning of their sex life. Nonetheless, porn is not an accurate portrayal of sex, and the youth need to know this. The amount of times a guy has asked me, my friends, and peers to do something diabolical, painful, or humiliating is shocking. For safety reasons, teens need to know that not everyone wants to be choked (especially without permission), spanked, thrown, peed on, or spat on.
The world of online pornography is a dangerous but crucial place. The amount of online sites that promote abuse, sexism, pedophilia, racism, violence, ect. Is insane. However, there needs to be a sexual outlet for teens, especially those exploring what they like and don’t like so that the real deal (sex, sex, sex!) isn’t completely unenjoyable. Of course, the first time won’t be perfect (which also should be taught in schools), but knowing at least one thing that gets them going, also knowing to listen to their partner could change the game for the beginning of their sex life. Nonetheless, porn is not an accurate portrayal of sex, and the youth need to know this. The amount of times a guy has asked me, my friends, and peers to do something diabolical, painful, or humiliating is shocking. For safety reasons, teens need to know that not everyone wants to be choked (especially without permission), spanked, thrown, peed on, or spat on.
What should sex ed class look like? Well, most public health resources will provide free sex ed from nurses or student nurses. The school should be sparing some money for supplies or handouts like condoms, or for younger kids deodorant and pads. Resources from pamphlets or websites about STDs, clinics, safe sex, or teen pregnancy should be available and accessible. The questionable aspect is consistency. How often could we get nurses into classes weekly? Perhaps teachers should be taking lessons from these nurses on how to effectively and openly teach sex education.
The amount of boys, young men, also girls or women that don’t fully understand consent is astounding. When someone is drunk, no means no. When someone RELUCTANTLY says yes, it means no. When someone is physically unable to say yes, it’s a no. If it’s a guy, no still means NO. The concept of enthusiastic consent hasn’t reached every teen or young adult yet, is there a ‘No!’ behind this ‘...yes? I mean, sure’. Always make sure that both of you are comfortable, and willing. Make sure the other person knows what contraceptives you plan on using, or if you aren’t. On a related note, bribing someone to have sex or anything of the sorts isn’t ‘getting laid’. You should never ask or tell someone to put a price on their body.
In closing, never be afraid to ask questions, ask consent, don’t push, and most importantly, TALK. Avoiding an uncomfortable conversation (that shouldn’t have been uncomfy in the first place) could cost you hours of uncomfortability when it comes down to sex. Also, don’t be an asshole when others talk about a topic that challenges you, sex shaming is pathetic. Everyone should have a right to sexual education, and nobody should have the right to conceal safe sex ed to the most influenced age group.